I had a very interesting conversation with somebody I don’t know via SMS yesterday evening. It went something like this…
He to me – Did u not order bags last week?
This came as a surprise. No, not the sloppy use of “u” instead of “you” but the fact that I couldn’t remember having had the responsibility of ordering bags, and worst of all I couldn’t think if that responsibility extended to ordering bags of ‘something in particular’. Did my lack of ordering mean I was in a bit of bother – and before Christmas too – not good! What disappointment had I caused and what would be my punishment? As my breathing became laboured and my palms sweaty I suddenly realised I didn’t recognise the number. After checking through my contacts to see if they shared the last three numbers I had just memorised I decided it might be prudent to ask.
Me to he – Sorry who is this and to which bags do you refer?
It took a couple of minutes but the response came back.
He to me – Chris – we’ve ran out of bags
The only Chris I know is my brother and he is in the USA on holiday. I guessed he wouldn’t be footing the bill for trans-Atlantic communications to bag-bother me. We certainly hadn’t had a conversation about bags recently and my palms started to dry. Was this a mistake on the part of this unknown Chris? Had he got the number wrong? Was he harranguing the office junior with hard earned bag ordering responsibility? I needed to make sure…
Me to he – Bags for what Chris?
He to me – Jd bags
This pretty much confirmed that Chris had made a mistake. However, what did “Jd” refer to? Did he mean JD Sports? Was the company in trouble? My palms became sweaty again.
Me to he – No! What do we do?
I was starting to panic.
He to me – Did you order sales bags Monday
He to me – Got no bags at all.
Oh boy! This wasn’t good! Whoever I was meant to be I hadn’t ordered sales bags! If I had ordered them Monday they should have arrived by now! Now I faced the fact that we were 4 days form the Big One and we had no sodding sales bags for the 26th! It was desperate but I made a suggestion…
Me to he – Can’t we borrow them from elsewhere?
Surely to God I was the only idiot! Surely every other JD Sports bag ordering dimwit of a junior in the region had properly prepared themselves for the January Sales! It happens at the same time every year for crying out loud. If not, well we were completely screwed. Screwed I tell you!
He to me – No everywhere is in same boat we are completely screwed
This confirmed it. Okay we had to think outside the box. The whole organisation (certainly on a regional level) seemed to have missed the opportunity of thinking inside one.
Me to he – Well I wouldn’t put it like that! Can’t we improvise? Tesco bags, black bags, JJB bags… If everybody else is in the same position we can sink together. What ideas u got?
I thought at the very least this might make him feel better about this awful mess. I even tried to bond with him by using “u” instead of “you”. There was no response. I was desperate. I couldn’t let this guy suffer. There was only one thing I could say…
Me to he – Anyway snow will keep everyone away – they say its going to snow tonight. Sorted!
He must have checked whether the last three numbers of the number he dialed matched any of his contacts. The answer must have been “no” because he didn’t text back. Shame really as I’ll never know if my suggestions helped! Merry Christmas Chris whoever you are.